Thursday 30 November 2006
A new lesson of punctuation
Imagine. Imagine a world where punctuation marks were odd, where in fact Punctuation marks are animals, its a very interesting concept...
I would like to present The New Punctuation Marks
Thats right
I have declared a Penguin as the basis for the New Fullstop (Period for those unfortunate to be American) A polar bear will then serve as the comma thats right a Polar bear for a comma
Its perfectly conventional use of language isn't it
YES
thats also rightI just used a Tiger for a exclamation mark This is fun
isn't it
Fine then
Maybe I'm just easily amused
damn you all
Can't a guy have a little fun with English literacy and punctuation
You see
this is what 2 trips to Chester Zoo between 2 different weeks does to you whilst trying to animate
Pathetic
isn't it
I would like to present The New Punctuation Marks
Thats right
I have declared a Penguin as the basis for the New Fullstop (Period for those unfortunate to be American) A polar bear will then serve as the comma thats right a Polar bear for a commaIts perfectly conventional use of language isn't it
YES
thats also rightI just used a Tiger for a exclamation mark This is fun
isn't it
Fine then
Maybe I'm just easily amused
damn you all
Can't a guy have a little fun with English literacy and punctuation
You see
this is what 2 trips to Chester Zoo between 2 different weeks does to you whilst trying to animate
Pathetic
isn't it
Wednesday 29 November 2006
New game...New addiction
Metal Arms, Imagine playing a robot in 3rd person, who can melee, has numberous weapons which can be upgraded. Metal Arms: Glitch in the System. Its Ratchet and Clank meets Halo.
Feast your eyes, upon THIS
Feast your eyes, upon THIS
Tuesday 28 November 2006
Its a puppet!!!
Went to Chester Zoo today again, the last time :(
I finally went on the monorail. I could actually afford something at the shop too, and got myself a tiger, yes. Thats right, a Tiger. However it was a hand-puppet, but who cares!
And so! From getting my hand shoved up its arse, it transformed into 'Robert the Tiger'!
Heres a quick biography:
Name: Robert Williams Tiger
Age: Unknown, contact manufacturer
Occupation: Tiger
Robert was in sale in a zoo shop for 5 years until a stupid feeble minded 19 year old man bought him for the ridiculous, but average price of £5.50.
I finally went on the monorail. I could actually afford something at the shop too, and got myself a tiger, yes. Thats right, a Tiger. However it was a hand-puppet, but who cares!
And so! From getting my hand shoved up its arse, it transformed into 'Robert the Tiger'!
Heres a quick biography:
Name: Robert Williams Tiger
Age: Unknown, contact manufacturer
Occupation: Tiger
Robert was in sale in a zoo shop for 5 years until a stupid feeble minded 19 year old man bought him for the ridiculous, but average price of £5.50.
Saturday 25 November 2006
Friday 24 November 2006
Behold...Toasteretto!!!
Okay, heres the story for this one, one of my classmates Chris, suggested after seeing 'The Fish Whisperer', suggested that I should make a series of comics about superheroes with pointless powers. I altered this idea slightly, and made me a pointless supervillian to make another comic just sketched in pencil during a boring day in class that I actually didn't have to go in for.
Yeah, I know its shit, but I'm trying to get back into drawing comics again, properly. Its been soooooo long...
Yeah, I know its shit, but I'm trying to get back into drawing comics again, properly. Its been soooooo long...
Wednesday 22 November 2006
Its the 10 O'clock show with Freker!!!
Theres rubbish on TV, there also is rubbish on Youtube, are you ready, heres some videos from Youtube.
This gives Gwen Stefani a run for her money...
Heh, reminds me of the Eyetoy game on PS2, happy days
Hey! Its like my brother!
I can see we've got our new George Lucas and Steven Speilburg!
Thats all for now, as people with crap speed internet won't be able to load this page.
This gives Gwen Stefani a run for her money...
Heh, reminds me of the Eyetoy game on PS2, happy days
Hey! Its like my brother!
I can see we've got our new George Lucas and Steven Speilburg!
Thats all for now, as people with crap speed internet won't be able to load this page.
'The Amazing Fish-Whisperer'
Ooh! whats this? Could it be, a comic? Heres No1 of 'The amazing fish whisperer'.
Would you believe how long this took to draw? What a waste of time! Oh well.
Tuesday 21 November 2006
The 'Superman- The movie' Rant
Right so even if Superman was to do this, why do we see him? He would have to be traveling at the speed of light.
That would make the actual scene of the film look like either of the images:
But maybe, just maybe, there is a real science about rotating things to manipulate the flow of time...
• For example, if you spun a sandwich around you could eat it again!(thanks Lilwolf)
• If you flushed the toilet the opposite way you would crap backwards
• If you rotate a book would you be compelled to read it again?
• If you got your bed to rotate after your morning alarm, you would never be late for school/uni/work/
• If you never ever rotated your TV repeats would never exist!
• If you rotated the cast of 'Last of The Summer wine' they would be allowed in nightclubs, have illegal substances and be criminally charged for riding in bathtubs down the hill.
But does that mean that the Russians developed Tetris to travel back in time if you played it enough?
How long would you have to play it?
This subject may also arrive again in the near future.
"Thats some unfortunate stereotype" aka 'Sending obese people to war'
Thats right guys, just think of it, all the thin, healthy blokes being sent out to war when, THEY COULD BE SENDING OUT OBESE PEOPLE!
Yes, this is the theory. Send those fat people out to war, to have a workout in training to make them thin, OR...
Presenting...The armchair of destiny.
Yes, we the people; will send those obese people out to war zones where soldiers dare tread, its the perfect way to get rid of these expendable fat-mobiles.
As you can see modeled above by our U2 listening elephant of a man, the Armchair of destiny will used in the cases of obese people who are unable to move, armed with tank tracks and a rocket launcher, the fat man will clear the path to VICTORY!
Controlled either by the occupants mind or through remote control, the 'sitter' can be sent across minefields, into enemy bases and major warzones whilst listening to 'classics' belted out by Bono, Cher and Phil Collins on his limited edition TA iPod.
This is the way to go my friends. This is the way to freedom.
Praise the fat man. Praise him as he is.
Yes, this is the theory. Send those fat people out to war, to have a workout in training to make them thin, OR...
Presenting...The armchair of destiny.
Yes, we the people; will send those obese people out to war zones where soldiers dare tread, its the perfect way to get rid of these expendable fat-mobiles.
As you can see modeled above by our U2 listening elephant of a man, the Armchair of destiny will used in the cases of obese people who are unable to move, armed with tank tracks and a rocket launcher, the fat man will clear the path to VICTORY!
Controlled either by the occupants mind or through remote control, the 'sitter' can be sent across minefields, into enemy bases and major warzones whilst listening to 'classics' belted out by Bono, Cher and Phil Collins on his limited edition TA iPod.
This is the way to go my friends. This is the way to freedom.
Praise the fat man. Praise him as he is.
Zoo foolery
Today was a good day. A uni trip to Chester Zoo, yaaay!
I hadn't been to the zoo for ages, but among the endless monkeys and Magical Nuts that look like arses...there was fish.
Fish; In my opinion they're very interesting creatures the way they gawp all the time, constantly looking busy, then it struck me.
What are Fish thinking of? What could fish possibly be thinking? Wouldn't it be great to talk to fish? To find out what fish thought? What do fish think?
Personally I'd think it be great, to have Dr Doolittle powers, but just with fish (yeah, it would be better with all animals, but I'm just talking about fish for now.)
Anyway, If I could talk to fish, I'd think it would be GREAT! Just maybe they might know the past of the Earth, how dinosaurs definately died, how Atlantis vanished, extraterrestrial life and finally, secrets of the universe and God!
But after that I was soon struck with the problem of basic vocabulary of these undersea creatures.
----THE PLAY STARTS---
I walk into aquarium, a fish in a tank looks interested, I walk over towards tank and start to use my telepathic powers discovered thanks to be bitten by a radioactive fish finger.
ME: Hello fish!
Fish: Hello! You're not a fish!
ME: No, I'm a human, we are a form of mammal, we have our own culture and languages!
Fish: Culture?
ME: yes! Culture! A way of living, we have many different ones!
Fish: We eat plankton.
ME: Hahaha! Plankton! Thats a character in 'Spongebob Squarepants' on Telly! He always tries to steal a Crabby Pattie to find out its secret ingredient!
Fish: Telly? Plankton?
ME: Television, its a combination of audio/visual to create a lifelike image and sound, its really very good.
Fish: No, no idea what you're on about.
ME: Oh. Of course, you wouldn't know.
Fish: Tell me more about Plankton.
ME: No, no, hes just a fictional cartoon character, hes not real.
Fish: Plankton!
ME: Yeaaah, Plankton, don't you eat anything else?
Fish: I'll tell you something...
ME: What, what?
Fish: I'm hungry, got any plankton?
ME: Okay, forget I mentioned plankton. Say, what about 'God?
Fish: God?
ME: He created you.
Fish: Never heard of him.
ME: How could you possibly not hear of God?! Is there no force you worship?
Fish: Yes...
ME: W-w-what is it?
Fish: Plankton, we worship plankton.
I walk out of aquarium with smashed tank, flooding and flapping fish on the floor.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also it has come to my attention that somewhere, someplace, there may be a alternate universe where people go to the Zoo to see wild Instruments.
"Symphony Zoo is the largest Zoo in the UK housing over 5,000 musical instruments and hiring as many as 500 zoo conductors at peak time. The Zoo’s main aim is to promote the awareness of conservation and to support the many endangered species of the world through breeding programs, welfare and education. This focus on breeding and conservation was made famous when Symphony Zoo succeeded in rearing Arron, the first Grand Piano to be born and raised in the UK in 1977, a landmark feat.
The Zoo is unique in it’s desire to house and display musical instruments in as close to their natural environment as possible with spacious exhibits spanning 80 acres of garden land. The zoo itself is steeped in history, founded by Zephoit K Trench in 1812 as a small collection of instruments acquired through the death of the infamous, unsuccessful music composer Cheezak.
Through well-structured building and development the zoo has now become one of Europe’s top instrument zoos providing action-packed days out for people of all ages.
The zoo’s main attractions include the Asian Hammond Organ House and Island, a Piccolo Pool with excellent underwater viewing and the Opera Zone housing all things Brass and windy including Trombones and Black Flutes. As a break from the instruments Symphony Zoo also has extensive and award winning musical gardens offering relaxing walks and picnic areas.
It is not possible to see all of Symphony Zoo in a day and a good idea is to take the Zoo's Musical Monorail Ride giving impressive views of the gardens and exhibits. Some of the musical attractions that have great views from the Monorail include the Tubas, Xylophones and Musical Triangles although each ride offers a new and unique experience providing different views every time. The trains run every day and have commentary providing valuable and interesting information on the wondrous sights below.
Another way to see many of the zoo's sights is to take the Zoo Kazoo, which offers more interesting views of the instruments throughout a 15-minute Kazoo ride. Some of the instrument attractions that have great views from the kazoo include the Glockenspiels, accordions and bagpipes. Like the Musical Monorail the Kazoo is open daily but is subject to weather conditions.
The most important part of Symphony Zoo is of course the instruments but there are also a large number of other attractions including some excellent cafes, bars and shops. The Zoo has a wide range of culinary delights with the most popular spots including the Andrew Lloyd Webber Restaurant, which provides a definite Victorian feel and excellent tea, there is also the Royal philharmonic café and the Salvation Army restaurant available for refreshments.
The Zoo is a must see when visiting with more attractions than physically possible to
experience in a day. Do not forget your camera and microphone, as there will definitely be a large number of superb photo opportunities. Tips for instruments to look out for are:
• Trumpet
• Cello
• Clarinet
• Banjo
• Harmonica
• Acoustic Guitar
Opening Times
The Zoo is open every day of the year (except for Christmas Day and last night of the proms). Opening time is always 10 am. Last admission times vary with the seasons - from 3:30 pm in mid-Winter to 5:30 in high Summer. The Zoo closes 1 1/2 hours after the last admission (1 hour in December/January). Please check at the time of visiting. Closing times for instrument houses, cafes, restaurants and shops are displayed at the Information Kiosk. Car parks close 30 minutes after zoo closing time."
For the real unaltered text read this.
FREKER OUT.
I hadn't been to the zoo for ages, but among the endless monkeys and Magical Nuts that look like arses...there was fish.
Fish; In my opinion they're very interesting creatures the way they gawp all the time, constantly looking busy, then it struck me.
What are Fish thinking of? What could fish possibly be thinking? Wouldn't it be great to talk to fish? To find out what fish thought? What do fish think?
Personally I'd think it be great, to have Dr Doolittle powers, but just with fish (yeah, it would be better with all animals, but I'm just talking about fish for now.)
Anyway, If I could talk to fish, I'd think it would be GREAT! Just maybe they might know the past of the Earth, how dinosaurs definately died, how Atlantis vanished, extraterrestrial life and finally, secrets of the universe and God!
But after that I was soon struck with the problem of basic vocabulary of these undersea creatures.
----THE PLAY STARTS---
I walk into aquarium, a fish in a tank looks interested, I walk over towards tank and start to use my telepathic powers discovered thanks to be bitten by a radioactive fish finger.
ME: Hello fish!
Fish: Hello! You're not a fish!
ME: No, I'm a human, we are a form of mammal, we have our own culture and languages!
Fish: Culture?
ME: yes! Culture! A way of living, we have many different ones!
Fish: We eat plankton.
ME: Hahaha! Plankton! Thats a character in 'Spongebob Squarepants' on Telly! He always tries to steal a Crabby Pattie to find out its secret ingredient!
Fish: Telly? Plankton?
ME: Television, its a combination of audio/visual to create a lifelike image and sound, its really very good.
Fish: No, no idea what you're on about.
ME: Oh. Of course, you wouldn't know.
Fish: Tell me more about Plankton.
ME: No, no, hes just a fictional cartoon character, hes not real.
Fish: Plankton!
ME: Yeaaah, Plankton, don't you eat anything else?
Fish: I'll tell you something...
ME: What, what?
Fish: I'm hungry, got any plankton?
ME: Okay, forget I mentioned plankton. Say, what about 'God?
Fish: God?
ME: He created you.
Fish: Never heard of him.
ME: How could you possibly not hear of God?! Is there no force you worship?
Fish: Yes...
ME: W-w-what is it?
Fish: Plankton, we worship plankton.
I walk out of aquarium with smashed tank, flooding and flapping fish on the floor.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also it has come to my attention that somewhere, someplace, there may be a alternate universe where people go to the Zoo to see wild Instruments.
"Symphony Zoo is the largest Zoo in the UK housing over 5,000 musical instruments and hiring as many as 500 zoo conductors at peak time. The Zoo’s main aim is to promote the awareness of conservation and to support the many endangered species of the world through breeding programs, welfare and education. This focus on breeding and conservation was made famous when Symphony Zoo succeeded in rearing Arron, the first Grand Piano to be born and raised in the UK in 1977, a landmark feat.
The Zoo is unique in it’s desire to house and display musical instruments in as close to their natural environment as possible with spacious exhibits spanning 80 acres of garden land. The zoo itself is steeped in history, founded by Zephoit K Trench in 1812 as a small collection of instruments acquired through the death of the infamous, unsuccessful music composer Cheezak.
Through well-structured building and development the zoo has now become one of Europe’s top instrument zoos providing action-packed days out for people of all ages.
The zoo’s main attractions include the Asian Hammond Organ House and Island, a Piccolo Pool with excellent underwater viewing and the Opera Zone housing all things Brass and windy including Trombones and Black Flutes. As a break from the instruments Symphony Zoo also has extensive and award winning musical gardens offering relaxing walks and picnic areas.
It is not possible to see all of Symphony Zoo in a day and a good idea is to take the Zoo's Musical Monorail Ride giving impressive views of the gardens and exhibits. Some of the musical attractions that have great views from the Monorail include the Tubas, Xylophones and Musical Triangles although each ride offers a new and unique experience providing different views every time. The trains run every day and have commentary providing valuable and interesting information on the wondrous sights below.
Another way to see many of the zoo's sights is to take the Zoo Kazoo, which offers more interesting views of the instruments throughout a 15-minute Kazoo ride. Some of the instrument attractions that have great views from the kazoo include the Glockenspiels, accordions and bagpipes. Like the Musical Monorail the Kazoo is open daily but is subject to weather conditions.
The most important part of Symphony Zoo is of course the instruments but there are also a large number of other attractions including some excellent cafes, bars and shops. The Zoo has a wide range of culinary delights with the most popular spots including the Andrew Lloyd Webber Restaurant, which provides a definite Victorian feel and excellent tea, there is also the Royal philharmonic café and the Salvation Army restaurant available for refreshments.
The Zoo is a must see when visiting with more attractions than physically possible to
experience in a day. Do not forget your camera and microphone, as there will definitely be a large number of superb photo opportunities. Tips for instruments to look out for are:
• Trumpet
• Cello
• Clarinet
• Banjo
• Harmonica
• Acoustic Guitar
Opening Times
The Zoo is open every day of the year (except for Christmas Day and last night of the proms). Opening time is always 10 am. Last admission times vary with the seasons - from 3:30 pm in mid-Winter to 5:30 in high Summer. The Zoo closes 1 1/2 hours after the last admission (1 hour in December/January). Please check at the time of visiting. Closing times for instrument houses, cafes, restaurants and shops are displayed at the Information Kiosk. Car parks close 30 minutes after zoo closing time."
For the real unaltered text read this.
FREKER OUT.
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