PLEASE, DO NOT PLAY YOUR BANJO INAPPROPRIATELY: Biscuit Tricks

Tuesday 13 March 2007

Biscuit Tricks

I tell you, ten minutes ago, I sworn I found the Holy Grail.
There it was, shining in all its glory...the White Chocolate Digestive...oh wait, no, no. Its just a bloody upside down Jammie Dodger in bad lighting.
Realizing this; I was immediately pissed off and to make it even worse; I wanted a white chocolate covered digestive.
I typed up 'White Chocolate Digestive' in Google. Apparently they do exist...now, why, oh why, can't I buy them?
You would of thought that a White Chocolate Digestive would be very popular. I mean, they have Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate and even Mint covered chocolate digestives.
Just imagine the taste of a White Chocolate Digestive dipped in a lukewarm cup of tea...ahh, heaven. But those hypocrites decide to release every flavour of chocolate digestive but White Chocolate.

F**k you, Jammie Dodger, just f**k you, thats for acting like a tempting, beautiful, explosion of taste that would be a White Chocolate Digestive biscuit oh yeah...and killing Johnny from 2 Pints. B**stard, I'll never look at you the same way again.

1 comment:

Rich5 April 2007 at 23:41
Have they stopped selling the white chocolate digestives? They were limited edition, think they come out at Christmas (white chocolate's like snow, I guess), I practically lived off them a couple of years back. They are as nice as you'd imagine.
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About the gentleman behind Inappropriate Banjo

Martyn A Eker was born in the Channel Islands, in Guernsey which resembled that last triangular corner bit of toast you couldn't eat in the morning. After a decade of development and decadence, he subsequently moved to this little known place called 'England' within 'Britain', which is a lot more difficult to describe in shape let alone draw from memory. But apparently a lot of famous historical people had come from there, like Shakespeare, Doctor Who and James Bond.

From here, Martyn A Eker decided to continue his manic doodling from school and enrolled in college to study a 'National Diploma in graphic and Design' for some obscure reason, it was here that Martyn A Eker decided to look into the crazy idea of becoming an animator, due to his lifelong ambition to become a cartoonist.

Not satisfied with his current art skills, Martyn A Eker studied a further course, 'Foundation Art and Design' where he discovered how much he hates artists that don't have a reason, metaphor or purpose for their works to be made.

From here, Martyn A Eker moved to North Wales and studied at university in the specialism of 'BA Hons Design Animation' (which had nothing to do with piloting planes) at Glyndwr University, which had some kind of identity crisis seeing it was originally called NEWI which really didn't stand for 'Nothing Ever Works Institute', despite the toilet graffiti.
It was here over the years that Martyn A Eker discovered how to make images move like a magician, a long way from the original nervous twitching, scale changing characters which would look better put out of their misery.

Once completing this course Martyn A Eker was given a offer he simply couldn't refuse, which about a year later he did. Turning his nose up at an uncompleted 'MA in Animation', Martyn A Eker tried to sit down and figure out who he was once and for all; and then he realised, he was a nutter that illustrated and scripted funny things and was truly happy when he would giggle reading his own works afterwards and obsessively wrote things about himself in the third person.

It was at this specific time, that he continued his lifelong quest of becoming a cartoonist once again and a damn good one, at that.